Dey India Kami Mari

I promised myself that I would write a journal on my notebook for any trip I went to. It was actually inspired by the most recent book I read, 'The secret letters of the monk who sold his Ferrari' by Robin Sharma. So, I tried to absorb everything I saw, felt, sensed, smelt, or tasted and put it together and kept it written on my journal. But it succeeded just for a couple days, then I got distracted and just kept them all as memories. 

It was on 31st March 2017, where we departed to New Delhi from Kuala Lumpur via Air Asia X. I was sitting alone on plane, separated from my friends, as I bought the tickets a little later than them. It was a different kind of experience travelling to India. I was not that excited. It was more of curiosity. There were few Malaysian on board, based on the passport they were holding. The weather was quite nice. It was a bit cloudy. Next to me was a Chinese lady, I assumed she is a student traveled back to her university. I usually felt asleep easily once I hopped on any kind of vehicles but this time I hardly able to sleep. It took about 5 hours to reach Delhi but I only managed to sleep for an hour. I overheard everything while stay awake. There was a caucasian lady talking to the cabin staff about changing seats. She was sitting in between two 'tabligh' guys. I guess she doesn't feel comfortable. Can't help but being judgmental. One of the guy suddenly asked her to change seat with the other guy who was sitting at the aisle so that she might feel better. However, she politely refused as she wanted to sit together with her boyfriend at the back seat. I think too much omg. When I was finally get into my dreamland, we already arrived at the New Delhi around 11pm (Delhi time). 

We decided to sleep at the airport as our next flight would be at 8 am. It wasn't comfortable at all but there's options whether you want to sleep at the steel couch or at the premium lounge where they provide place for nap. (They even has spa just in case you need massage!). We chose to sleep at the couch, obviously. We slept at the terminal 3 of Indira Ghandi International airport. At 4 am we were awake just because somebody mistakenly thoughts it was 6 am (Malaysian time hahaha) *cough* me *cough*. So we hurriedly went to the departure hall, not knowing that our airlines was actually at a different terminal. The army guy said we need to catch a bus to Terminal 1. Did I mention there's a lot of army at the airport? and they were holding amor and stuff. Few blocks from the terminal 3 there got many expensive looking hotels in one place. JW Mariott, Novotel, Pullman hotel, you name it. It all there. It took about 10 - 15 mins to reach Terminal 1. I can see enough of Delhi that I hated. Not able to visualise stars/moon/sky. There were too much pollution. Thick haze. Starting to have difficulty to breathe. Really can't wait to reach Kashmir.

#deyindiakamimari #misimencarisrk


I wrote this when I was still in medical school. Now that I am already working as a medical officer, I have witnessed more deaths than I can imagine. I don't feel the way I felt before. I think I only feel that.. We could do better to make them alive. But who am I to lawan perjalanan takdir, right? We did tried our best. However, most of them can't be helped even after all the effort we have given. Some came at a late presentation, some just not lucky enough to survive. We also prayed for, no mortality meeting please haha. definitely NOT a state level mortality meeting :P. On serious note, I guess being a doctor is a blessing. You'll be reminded of death quite frequently. You can learn to be more grateful as you attend to people who get sick every single day. Not a day you can see an empty ward or empty emergency room.  

Seperti Rasulullah SAW bersabda yang bermaksud:
" Rebutlah lima perkara sebelum datangnya lima perkara. Masa sihat sebelum sakit. Masa kata sebelum datangnya sempit(miskin). Masa lapang sebelum tiba masa sibuk. Masa muda sebelum datang masa tua dan masa hidup sebelum tiba masa mati" 

Yesterday, a patient died when I was on-call. He suffered from chronic lung disease. He was really suffering, he was so restless, having difficulty for breathing, gasping for air. His family members decided not for further medical support as they want him to go naturally. But actually it took him few days before he took his final breath. This reminds me of how my last presentation to Allah would be. I prayed that I will have a good ending, presentable to my Lord. It is so scary to imagine yourself died while doing sin. Minta jauh sangat - sangat. Anyway, Alhamdulillah for all the blessings. Have to find ways to show my gratitude for Him.

thoughts on India

It was a random decision to finally agreed on joining a group of friend who are going travel to India. I took everything on consideration, the budget, the travel buddy, the season and of course the timing itself as I was planning to do Umrah this year. Does it going to worth it? I hope so. It never crossed my mind to visit India this year. My thoughts on India is that it has negative and positive sides. The one that I looked forward to is, the beautiful architectures, bright colours everywhere, of course I would like to try the food, and I recently interested to go to Kashmir after watching the film Bajrangi Bhaijaan. I saw multiple beautiful pictures on Instagram. So excited to explore India! While the negative sides would be, that it is a crowded place, people talking loud, lack of hygiene in view of stuffed environment. and the fact that some says the men in India being a bit sceptical toward women.  what do I know, right? I only watched Bollywood movies so I don't really able to picture how it's like in India. Anyway, I hope that I get the best experience in India and hopefully will change my view about the country. 

Boleh bah kalau kau

07. 03. 2017 marks my one year of service in Hospital Beaufort, Sabah. Ok bah Sabah ni. I still remember clearly the first day I stepped into Hospital Beaufort, the office staffs, staff nurses, were so warm and friendly. The smile on their face when they saw me, were priceless. At that moment, I felt like I am most welcomed here. That's when I said to my self, I can go through this! I was actually so worried at first, and I know my parents worried more. I knew nothing about Sabah. None at all! But Alhamdulillah for those people around me, worry no more. Here I am, still standing. 


Kids. Some can be very cute but most of them can be so annoying. But this one i encountered is the cutest one! I was doing my morning round at the ward, as usual. I started with this boy first. I brought together my blue paediatric protocol and put it nicely on his cardiac table. I thought it will be difficult to ask questions for this child as his parents wasn't around. It turns out that he's such a good boy, he sat on his bed comfortably answering every single questions I asked. Then I moved on to the next patients. After few hours later, I realized that my book has gone missing. I searched the whole ward for it, i might went a lil bit crazy! Then I remembered I put it on the boy's cardiac table. But it wasn't there either. Suddenly, my eyes catched something blue just beside the boy. He was sleeping, while holding MY book in his arms. Aww, whyy on earth does my paeds protocol doing there? I slowly took it from the boy without waking him up and went away like the gush of wind.

A few weeks later...

I found an exquisite art inside my book. I wondered who is the mysterious artist! Such a delicate work, i thought.

I tried to recall who would be drawing this. Finally I remembered a boy who slept with my book few weeks before. Ni kerja dia rupanya. Hehe. I could give him a reward for this. Cuteness.


assalamualaikum! I've finished my 4th posting which is such a relief, pheww :) And I had a 6-day leave but I had noo idea where to go. I'm thinking of Japan, or korea since there's sakura blooming season. Unfortunately, no one's going to follow me as it was a last minute decision. So, I asked farhana to join me for a trip to Perhentian Island. Well, I kind of hate going to an island, but I really really love beaches and oceans.

I waited for farhana at Kuala Besut jetty. It was raining quite heavily at first. Alhamdulillah it stopped after awhile. We took a small boat from the jetty to Perhentian island. The 40 mins ride on the boat was.......hell. I think the boat driver was 'high' or something. He was speeding like there is no tomorrow. I was not feeling well. So... I puked...once, in the middle of the ride. How... embarassing. The boat driver started to slow down after the incident. haha

We stayed at the Arwana Perhentian Eco resort & beach chalet. The room was okay-lah. The air-cond works perfectly fine. But there's no television as was mentioned in the internet. It was quite frustrating. 

The view from our hotel was very nice. The beach was not as white as the Turtle bay's one. But it was fine for me. The sound of the oceans was surprisingly calm. It was a bliss. To be away from the concrete jungles, away from the noisy chatterings, away from the busy traffics. I wish I could be stranded at the island for a few more days. 

We tried scuba diving for the first time. It was a nerve-wrecking experience. And as expected, I have trouble with breathing inside the water. Man, I wish I had a fin. As we went into the sea, slightly deeper, I got a panic attack. My leg starts to cramp, I started to hyperventilate, the sea water get into my goggle. My mind had a lot of things going on. I...just...can't...sifu... please bring me back to the I went up to the surface. Teehee. I'll try again some other time..

Ah Long (our scuba dive instructor) was having so much fun teasing me. ^ uprolling of eyeballs


I was working at the male medical ward, running thru and forth like crazy. Never got a chance to drink or eat. or sit. or even cry. There never be a calm day in medical ward. 

One day, there is this Bangladeshi guy who was admitted for dengue fever. He's been eyeing me for quite some time and by the time I came to review him, finally he said it,

" akaa.."

" Sudah makan kaa belum?"

I was like. aw, concern jugak patient aku ni

" Baru saja makan. kenapa"

And he said,

" Ala, baru nak kirim makanan"




I met a new houseman at the place where I work. She asked me how I managed to survive my housemanship life so far. Apparently, she was just getting scolded by an MO and couldn't handle it. I'm like, 
"Just make sure you do your job properly. It's 'okay' to be yelled at, as long as u learn something. Don't worry, in the end u'll get used to it. Ha-ha"

I guess i'm turning into a heartless zombie.